good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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