We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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