Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
