If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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