i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
