It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
