My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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