Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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