his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
