Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
