all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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