Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
