So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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