I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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