google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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