It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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