Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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