Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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