that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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