Quick, to the slutcave!
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
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I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
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I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
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