Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
