i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
