I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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