So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
