margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
