You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
