I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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