the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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