is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
