"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
