If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
