I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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