At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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