You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
