Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize