you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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