there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
