pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
