well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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