So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
