I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I think my moral compass just broke
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
