Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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