yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
