Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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