idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
