We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
