Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
This toilet bowl is my home.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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