your parents love me but you hate me
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
