There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
