Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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