So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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