But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Holy sore nipples Batman
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
