I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
