you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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