dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize