So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize