I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
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She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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