how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
