porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
