What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize