woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
