Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
