I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize