i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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