I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
