This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize