Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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