I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
