Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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